I’m writing this in the middle of a rut. I don’t have a grand solution or a five-step framework, so if that’s what you’re looking for, you won’t find it here. What I do have is a mess of thoughts about a feeling that’s been bothering me for a while, the mix of productivity guilt and analysis paralysis.
I have an ever-growing list of things I want to accomplish. Some of them are big, long-term life milestones I don’t expect for years: marriage, buying a home, having kids. Normal “future adult” stuff.
Then there’s the mid-term list, the dreams I want for myself over the next few years: travelling more, living abroad for half a year, starting a business, getting good at a sport I love.
And finally, there’s the short-term list. The one that’s supposed to build my skills and discipline so those medium-term dreams can happen. Unfortunately, this is the list that’s slowly killing me. It includes things like learning a language, improving my knitting, reading a book a week, practising photography, going to the gym, getting better at upholstery… and more. All while working a 9 – 5 and commuting to spend time with my boyfriend.
The real issue is that my brain refuses to just start something. I can’t simply “go to the gym” – I have to create a mini-roadmap beforehand. Same with any goal: I need to break everything down into subtasks before I take step one. And when I don’t, it leaves me anxious and aimless.
My social life has absolutely taken a hit. I used to be out all the time in 2024, and now the idea of going out for even one drink makes me feel guilty about all the things I’m not doing. After Googling my symptoms (never a good idea), I found out other people feel this too. ‘Productivity guilt’ and ‘analysis paralysis’ seem to be the popular labels.
I also recognise how privileged I am to even have this problem. I have the basics and more, which grounds me when I start spiralling. It reminds me of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs – this whole struggle seems to live right at that top section: self-actualisation.
Part of me wonders whether I should just be content with where I am. But that feels dishonest, because I know what I want out of life. So maybe the issue isn’t the list – maybe it’s the timeline. I want everything at once. I want it now. And life doesn’t work like that. Even if I did achieve everything, I’d probably just find more: archery, pottery, something new. Appetite grows more with eating.
So maybe the real antidote to this guilt is perspective. I invite you to ask yourself:
- Am I in a stable and fortunate position right now?
- Will it still be okay if these goals take longer than I’d hoped?
- Am I putting pressure on myself that no one else is expecting from me?
- Do some of these goals matter less than the urgency I’ve attached to them?
If any of those answers are “no,” then honestly, ignore this entire post and chase your goals however you need to.
But if you answered “yes,” then you might be like me. And people like us need gratitude. We need to relax. We need to accept that progress will happen, just not all at once. We need to let go of the guilt long enough to smell a flower or two and make room for a version of ourselves that isn’t powered by shame.
Because every time I really sit with this feeling, I remember that pushing harder rarely makes me more productive. I do my best work when I’m relaxed, confident, and grounded. Creativity doesn’t grow out of guilt or anxiety – it grows from space, rest, and curiosity.
So, I take back what I said at the beginning: maybe there is a solution. We need to be gentler with ourselves. When these feelings show up, instead of suppressing them, we should acknowledge them. Listen to your mind when it says, “this is too much,” and follow what feels right in your gut rather than what your hyper-logical self insists you should be doing.
