When I was 17 and dating my first boyfriend, he described me as a ‘jack of all trades, master of none’. I’m not really great with idioms (and also just a bit thick) so I wasn’t sure what he meant.
When he explained it I was offended. “What do you mean?” I said, “I’m good at… maths”. Yikes. The truth is, I wasn’t even that good at maths, maybe 6th in my class at best but it was my strongest subject. Besides that, I didn’t really have any hobbies that I could say I was remotely good at.
Before it got to A-Level picking season, I already knew what I was going to pick. Not because I so deeply loved the subjects but because my mum made it clear that picking STEM subjects is the only way to guarantee a successful career and so I studied Maths, Further Maths and Economics.
After Sixth Form I headed to Uni to study Economics – the same subject my mum studied. My mum would argue that she didn’t hold a knife over my head so I studied it on my own accord, but I think a lookback at our conversations from my childhood would suggest there was definitely some level of influence.
Now, I can’t sit here as an adult (even though I still live at home) and blame my mother for studying subjects and ending up in career that is most likely not my passion. I admit that I am now in charge of my own life trajectory, and I should follow my wildest dreams. But damn – first boyfriend was right. I’m not good at any one thing.
Now you might say, “you don’t have to be good at whatever your wildest dream is, just make a start”. But to that I would say, my dream is to live on a farm with a vegetable patch and greenhouse, with wooden interior and maybe even some stained glass. Funnily enough, I had a conversation with a colleague at my first job, and she asked me what my dream was. My response was along the same lines of what I just described to which she said – “you have no work ethic”. Fairs. I just really don’t want to hike up this damn career ladder.
It’s quite easy for your dream to get crushed when the average price of a house in the UK is £300k and you’re working a £30k job. And that’s not even taking into account the fact that the £300k house wouldn’t be the farm I’m dreaming of.
Capitalism starts with the specialisation of labour and I’m just not sure whether I want or even can narrow my efforts down to one niche skill in this world. I want to know how to do lots of things! My headlight broke the other week, so in a few days’ time I will be going to QuickFit to ask the lovely workers to teach me how to install some new ones. I’ve recently started learning upholstery because new furniture is goddamn expensive so I’d like to know how to up-cycle chairs. My mum and I used to grow vegetables in our garden; this is definitely something I’d like to do again to have my own supply of food.
The point is, we are far too reliant on everyone else to do things for us. My boyfriend once said something that I still think about often. He said: if you strip every one of their clothes and put them in a line, how many could demonstrate their worth based solely on their skills?
Maybe being a jack of all trades isn’t a weakness. It’s curiosity and adaptability. I’m figuring out what I want to do with my life. For me, I believe real freedom will come from avoiding specialisation, and some how (although I haven’t yet figured how) I will make it work.